Hurray!Â We made it through another yearÂ â€“ full of ups and downs and resolutions long forgotten. What happened in 2011, stays in 2011. But a brand new year has arrived andÂ we have another chance to get it right.
SomeÂ wackos say itâ€™s now or never since the Mayan Calendar mysteriously ends on Dec. 21, 2012.Â Theyâ€™ve been telling us that the world as we know it will also end on that day.
That theory has more holes than Swiss cheese, and I wouldnâ€™t go out and spend my 401K simply because some tribal calendar writer got tired and quit his job.
For me, the new year starts tomorrow - never on New Yearâ€™s day. There are too many Christmas leftovers hanging around in the fridgeÂ to beginÂ eating healthy which is always at the top of my exhaustive list of New Yearâ€™s intentions.Â
And thank goodness the gym is closed today. I have one more day to practice my favorite hobbyÂ â€“ hanging outÂ comatose in front of the television set.
Other than being a healthier, happier personÂ I plan to do the following this year: Go out to the community college and study how to become a plumber.
I wish I had done that in the beginning instead of studying journalism. It would be far more lucrative to be a sorry plumberÂ instead ofÂ an undisciplinedÂ writer.Â Â
After I master plumbing, I plan to study and become fluent inÂ French, write a screen play and sell it to Hollywood, try out for cheerleader to the New Orleans Saints and dive the Great Barrier Reef. If I survive those intentions,Â I will learn to fly and build myself an airplane.Â
Oh, yes.Â And after another Christmas dinner featuring dishes which were either overcooked or undercooked, my family is paying for me to enroll in a cooking school.
On second thought, Iâ€™ve learned that a long list of resolutionsÂ is a sure path to failure.
Thereâ€™s a reason you see stories every February about how most peopleÂ have already forgotten their resolutions by Valentineâ€™s Day.Â Â Â
I read that doing one small thing right causes 1,000 other little thingsÂ to fall into placeÂ because of it. So this year I amÂ focusing one thing at a time which is going to be fitness. In fact, Iâ€™m dubbing 2012 theÂ Year of the War onÂ Lethargy.Â
Iâ€™ve been spending way too much time in my easy chair withÂ a murder mystery and a bag of Reeseâ€™s Peanut Butter Cups.Â All that lolling about has caused my jeans to shrink a full two sizes. Whatâ€™s that about?
Iâ€™m also going to begin acting my age. Every time I realize Iâ€™m not 16 anymore, Iâ€™m surprised.
So for all you goal setters out there, I wish you a Happy New Year,Â andÂ that all your troubles last as long as your new yearâ€™s resolutions.
Emily Jones is a retiredÂ journalist who edits a website for bouncing baby boomers reaching the Middle Ages.Â She welcomes comments at http://www.deludeddiva.com.View more articles in: